What to Use When Your Child Struggles With Regulation and Learning
- Erica Stroup
- Jan 12
- 4 min read
Before Thrive ever existed, I was a parent trying to figure out how to support my own children. My kids are neurodivergent, and many of the things I now help families with like regulation, focus, organization, emotional overwhelm were daily challenges in our home.
Mornings felt hard. Schoolwork felt harder. Big emotions showed up quickly. And I found myself constantly asking, “Why does this feel so much harder than it seems like it should be?”
I wasn’t looking for perfection but I did want tools that actually helped my kids feel capable, calm, and confident in how their brains worked. That experience is what became the foundation for everything we do through Thrive. So when families tell me their child melts down over small things, avoids tasks that feel too big, forgets what they were just told, or needs constant reminders to stay focused, I don’t see a child who isn’t trying. I see a brain that is still developing the skills it needs to regulate emotions, organize thinking, and learn effectively. I’m still living that reality in my own home.
And I also know how much the right kind of support can change things. So many families I work with come to me saying the same thing:“We’re trying everything, but nothing seems to stick.”
Often, the issue isn’t effort or motivation. It’s that many children are still building the brain skills they need to manage emotions, plan, and learn effectively. These skills are called executive function and include things like emotional regulation, attention, flexibility, organization, and self-control.
When those skills are still growing, learning can feel overwhelming. Big feelings show up faster. Tasks feel harder to start and finish. And kids may begin to see themselves as “bad at school” or “always in trouble,” even when they’re trying their best. If your child melts down over small things, avoids tasks that seem “too hard,” forgets what they were just told, or needs constant reminders to stay on track, you are not alone.
Regulation Comes Before Learning
One of the most important shifts families can make is this: regulated brains learn better.
When a child is overwhelmed, frustrated, anxious, or dysregulated, their brain is in survival mode. In that state, it’s much harder to:
focus on instructions
organize thoughts
persist through challenges
reflect on mistakes
or try again after something doesn’t go well
This is why strategies that focus only on behavior (“just try harder,” “pay attention,” “calm down”) often fall flat. They don’t address what the brain actually needs in that moment.
What “Brain-Based Tools” Really Mean
When I talk about brain-based tools for regulation and learning, I’m talking about supports that match how children’s brains develop:
Visual supports that make abstract skills (like planning or self-control) easier to understand
Movement and sensory strategies that help reset attention and reduce overwhelm
Reflection tools that guide kids to notice what’s working and what they want to improve
Skill-building activities that treat regulation and organization as things that can be practiced just like reading or math
These tools don’t replace structure or expectations. They make those expectations accessible. Instead of asking, “Why won’t my child do this?” we begin asking, “What support does their brain need right now?”
Supporting Kids Without Power Struggles
Families often tell me they want:
fewer meltdowns
less arguing over schoolwork
more independence
and a child who feels capable instead of constantly corrected
That doesn’t come from charts, rewards, or constant reminders alone. It comes from helping children:
understand how their brains work
build awareness of their strengths and challenges
practice skills in low-pressure ways
and experience success over time
When kids start to see that regulation, focus, and organization are skills they can grow, something powerful shifts. Learning becomes less about avoiding mistakes and more about building confidence.
Over time, I realized families were asking for the same kinds of tools again and again. They wanted supports for emotional regulation, executive function, and learning that were practical, visual, and kid-friendly.
That’s why I created the ADHD Essentials Bundle in my Thrive Kids Printables store.
It brings together the core resources I use most to support my own children and those I work with who struggle with:
attention and focus
emotional regulation
organization and planning
task initiation and follow-through
and big feelings that get in the way of learning
Rather than piecing together tools from different places, this bundle provides a cohesive, brain-based system designed to help children build regulation and learning skills over time.
It’s not about “fixing” kids. It’s about equipping them.
How Families Use These Tools at Home
Every family is different, but many parents use these resources to:
introduce one skill at a time in a calm, visual way
support emotional regulation during difficult moments
create simple routines for planning and reflection
help children set goals without pressure
and build independence without constant reminders
Small, consistent supports add up. Over time, kids begin to recognize their own needs, apply strategies more independently, and approach learning with more confidence.
You’re Not Behind and Your Child Isn’t Broken
If learning feels harder than it “should,” that does not mean you’re doing something wrong. It often means your child needs different tools...ones that match how their brain works.
Regulation and learning are not fixed traits.They are skills that grow with the right support.
If you’re looking for a place to begin, you can explore the ADHD Essentials Bundle here:
Remember, you don’t have to do everything. You just need the right tools for the next step.
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