Working Memory: Why Kids Forget Instructions (and What You Can Do About It)
- Erica Stroup
- Jan 19
- 2 min read
“Go upstairs, put on your pajamas, brush your teeth, and bring down your dirty laundry.”
Five minutes later, your child comes back downstairs… wearing pajamas, but without brushing their teeth or bringing the laundry. What happened? Did they ignore you? Did they not listen?
Chances are, the issue isn’t motivation, it’s working memory.
What Is Working Memory?
Working memory is your brain’s ability to hold on to information long enough to use it. Think of it as a mental sticky note. You write down the information, carry it around in your head, and use it to finish a task.
For kids with ADHD, that sticky note doesn’t always “stick.” By the time they start step one, steps two and three may have already slipped away.
Why Working Memory Matters
Strong working memory helps kids:
Follow multi-step directions.
Solve problems that require holding information in mind.
Remember what they just read.
Keep track of materials for school, homework, or chores.
When working memory is weak, kids may seem forgetful, careless, or oppositional, but the truth is, their brain is dropping information before they can use it.
Signs of Working Memory Challenges
You might notice your child:
Forgets multi-step instructions (like the bedtime routine).
Loses their place when reading or solving math problems.
Needs constant reminders to stay on track.
Forgets what they were about to say or do.
Struggles to follow along in games or group activities.
Strategies to Support Working Memory
Here are some practical ways to strengthen working memory and reduce frustration:
1. Give One Step at a Time
Instead of rattling off four directions, start with one or two. Once they’re done, give the next.
2. Use Visuals
Checklists, picture schedules, and sticky notes make instructions “stay put” where kids can see them.
3. Encourage Repetition
Ask your child to repeat directions back to you before starting. This helps “lock in” the information.
4. Chunk Big Tasks
Break assignments or chores into smaller, manageable pieces. “Do the odd-numbered problems first” is easier to hold than “finish all 30 problems.”
5. Build Memory with Games
Play card games, memory matching, or Simon Says which are fun ways to practice holding information.
6. Use External Supports
Timers, alarms, or reminders help kids transition from one step to the next without relying solely on memory.
Want tools that support executive function skills in real life? This post is part of an Executive Function series. If you’re looking for hands-on supports you can start using today, our ADHD Essentials Bundle includes resources that help with planning, organization, emotional regulation, and focus all in one place.
Coming Next: Emotional Regulation and Self-Control
This post is part of our Executive Function series. Next, we’ll dive into emotional regulation and self- control, why kids with ADHD may struggle to manage big feelings and how you can help them develop strategies to stay calm and resilient.
Find links to the full series here:
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